Lame review of the iPhone 5

Hey guys! Today I'm gonna attempt to review Apple's latest flagship phone, the iPhone 5.

(when I say lame, I mean it. If you don't have sense of humor, don't bother reading this.)

Yeah yeah blah blah blah I know it's kinda late but wa lau wan! iPhone 5 isn't even officially released here in the Philippines! Damn you slow networks. Now those impatient bitches would spend like 50k or more for a grey market one!!

disclaimer: I am no iPhone or Android fan. It's just that my daddy owns a Samsung Galaxy S3 and my friend owns a Samsung Galaxy Note 2 so yeah I already tried, tested and explored those two devices. So if you're gonna be offended by my words about them then fuck you. I'm just telling the truth ok?

Here it is::

Ok lor I guess getting a privacy screen protector is quite shiok one cox everytime you're like riding public vehicles, ALWAYS GOT FUCKYUCK PEOPLE READING YOUR TEXT CONVOS!!

At first look, it looks exactly like the iPhone 4/4s which is why they got a lot of iPhone fanboys(and even Android fanboys obviously) complaining like fuck that Apple is shit and getting boring. BUT if you look closer, the front camera changed it's position, it's thinner, it's so much lighter, and it has longer screen(shocker!). From 3.5inches-4inches. Hmmm not bad. But still got people complaining what! Why leh?! If you want humungous screen then buy a tablet mah! Or even the Galaxy S3! And suffer from it's laggy and buggy Android goodness! HMFT.

iPhone 3Gs, iPhone 4s, iPhone 5

The bottom also has a lot of changes ( shocker 2x!!). They changed the supposed original 30 pin connector to the so-called "Lightning connector" which is quite an advantage since it's smaller and the cable is reversible so you can plug it in on which ever side wtf. Ooh ooh! Dun forget also the redesigned speaker and microphone. Although the redesigned speaker grills were bigger, it's still not as loud as the 4s' stunningly loud speaker which is a MAJOR TURN OFF.

And I also noticed that the Aluminum back isn't really that much of a scratch-magnet like what some people claim ( I guess the black one is more prone to scratches and chips?? IDK). I tried using my car keys, coins and my nails to scratch the back and ZERO visible scratch at all. Aiyoh super Jia Lat one!!

Now if you ask me which of the iPhone 5 is my fave, it is......drumrollssssss...THE FUCKING IMPROVED FRONT CAMERA!! *bubblebubblebubblepop*

Seriously what took you so long Apple? LOLOL

The rest of the iPhone 5 is pretty much the same as the iPhone 4s so there's not much to review. But the new earphones with it called the "earpods" is totally worth reviewing :D

Here's what earpods looks like. IKR? Totally weird wtf.

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE EARPODS LAH!!

It's not as good as quality earphones such as Beats or Sennheiser but the quality is getting closer!

It will be a total culture shock if you came from the previous version of iPhone/iPod earphones to this. I love that it's not easily falling out from the ears and the bass is also good leh!! And I already saw some Apple store here selling one for PHP1.2K only! Get and try it and you'll know what I'm talking about ;)

So here's the specs::

Apple iPhone 5 specs:
4.0-inch IPS LCD display @ 640×1136 pixels, 326ppi
Corning Gorilla Glass 2
Apple A6 1.2GHz dual-core processor
PowerVR SGX543MP3 (triple-core)
16GB, 32GB, 64GB internal storage
1GB RAM
DC-HSDPA 42Mbps, LTE 100Mbps
WiFi 802.11 b/g/n, dual-band
Bluetooth 4.0
8MP autofocus camera, LED flash
1080p video recording
1.2MP front-facing camera, 720p @ 30fps
GPS w/ aGPS support, GLONASS
iOS 6
112 grams (weight)
123.8 x 58.6 x 7.6 mm (dimensions)

I must say that the spec sheet is quite disappointing. Seriously Oh my God a dual core and a 4inch display in a 2012 smartphone?! Ewww get a life Apple and stop suing our Samsung!!--LOL typical butt-hurt Android fanboy's words. But of course, Apple always have a surprise upon their sleeves, it is INDEED the fastest smartphone today despite other competition having quadcore processors, 2gb ram, and more. (You can google benchmark tests for proofs )

Suck on that haters! I just feel the need to defend iPhone cox iPhone haters are so judgmental, stupid and narrow-minded!! Take GSMARENA.COM for example. Every article there mentioning the iPhone 5 or even Apple, there would always be loads of senseless and stupid insults in the comments section against Apple and iPhone!! Well I guess that website is infested by bitter Android users. POK GAI!!

Another disappointing thing is iOS6. Apple really needs to have a major iOS renovation. I think when it comes to smartphone operating system, Android is quite better. You can do things in the native Android OS that only jailbroken iPhones can do wtf. It's just that they don't know how to optimize their OS into their gazillion of Android phones hence all those awesome specs that Samsung/LG/Motorola/Sony/etc has been putting on their Android phones is quite useless cox they're still damn laggy. Even my friend's new Note 2 frequently lags. I guess it's an Android thing wtf.

Bottom-line is, iPhone 5 is an AWESOME smartphone. No matter how Samsung tries, iPhone will always be faster and better than whatever Galaxy S or Note they will release. HOWEVER. In my opinion, there's no need to upgrade to 5 if you already have 4s cox iPhone 5 is like 70% iPhone 4s. That said, the 30% additional is the .5 bigger screen, faster, better and more battery efficient processor, slightly improved front and back camera, and LTE. And if you don't have enough budget for iPhone 5, I suggest you go for the 4s since it's "almost-but-not-quite" the same. Or you can get the iPod Touch 5th gen. Only it's not a phone and it doesn't have gps.


KKBYE!!